Archive for November, 2013


an unfair fight

Lying half-awake early this morning I realized something.

I’ve struggled (hard) with depression my entire life, since I was about 8.

That’s not what I realized. That’s not news.

What I was realized is that one day it’s going to win.

There is absolutely no doubt in my mind about this. It’s not because I don’t try. I’ve been trying for more than 30 years. It’s because I’m finite, human, can only be in one place at a time, and get tired. It, on the other hand, is infinite, eternal, omnipotent, and omnipresent. It has never been a fair fight.

“Happy” Veteran’s Day

‘Fallen 9000’ Project: Thousands Of Stenciled Bodies In The Sand Serve As Poignant D-Day Tribute

The colonel’s war against PTSD: “It’s also the reason Welsh spends his Saturday mornings at the Salvation Army shelter. He lost soldiers in combat; he cannot abide the loss of more in peacetime. Welsh cannot save them all, but he has to try.”

After returning home, many veterans get into motor vehicle accidents: “A study based on 2006 data showed that returning veterans were 75 percent more likely to die in traffic accidents than civilians of comparable age, race and sex. They were 148 percent more likely to be killed on motorcycles.”

Scores of recent Texas war veterans have died of overdoses, suicide and vehicle crashes, investigation finds: “…an alarmingly high percentage died from prescription drug overdoses, toxic drug combinations, suicide and single-vehicle crashes — a largely unseen pattern of early deaths that federal authorities are failing to adequately track and have been slow to respond to.”

Which veterans are at highest risk for suicide?: “PTSD, injuries combine with everyday stresses; studies also say women especially vulnerable.”

“I Am Sorry That It Has Come to This”: A Soldier’s Last Words: “I am sorry that it has come to this. The fact is, for as long as I can remember my motivation for getting up every day has been so that you would not have to bury me. As things have continued to get worse, it has become clear that this alone is not a sufficient reason to carry on. . . . I am left with basically nothing. Too trapped in a war to be at peace, too damaged to be at war.”

‘Like an airborne disease’: Concern grows about military suicides spreading within families: “Some suicides and suicide attempts — like those that ravaged the Velez family — are spurred by combat losses. Others may be triggered by exhaustion and despair: As some veterans return debilitated by anxiety, many spouses realize it’s now up to them — and will be for decades — to hold the family together.”

Capt. Peter Linnerooth, Iraq War Veteran Who Counseled Vets, Commits Suicide: “‘Sometimes he felt he was putting a Band-Aid over a bullet hole,’ McNabb says. ‘It would be, `I got you to where you can sleep through the night … but guess what? You have seven months left in your deployment.'”

“happy” Veteran’s Day…

Lives During Wartime, Vol. 4 at The New York Times