Archive for May, 2008

Dear subconscious,

Ok, I get it.  I got it before you drove the first nail into my hand.  I kept on getting right up through the other hand and both feet.  I’m working on it.  See, look: not everything is my fault.  Also: I have the power neither to save the world nor ruin it.  Also: I got up at 11 instead of 2 today.  At the rate I’m going, I might actually make it out of the house sometime tomorrow.  So knock it off, because that shit hurt.


Dear you,

When you come around me looking for something, whatever that might be and I don’t pretend to know what it is, you will probably never get what you were expecting.  I think that’s just the way it is with me.  Go ahead, ask around.  And I’m not sure I should apologize for anything except a few moments of thinking that it mattered that someone knew how much he was loved once.  I think that matters.  It’s good to know.  I’m sorry for handling it badly, but there’s really not much I can do differently.  There’s not much point in my apologizing for much else, other than me being me, and I don’t guess I really see the point in apologizing for that.  Believe it or not, the time you read about was a time when I was trying really hard not to hurt anybody anymore through my own selfishness.  For whatever that’s worth.  Also, stories; telling history is never quite like the truth. Also, I’m not wired like other people.  Just so you know.